New Years Resolve: Forgiveness

While crafting social media for Kentucky Voices for Health, I came across two Huffington Post articles.

  1. 50 Healthy Resolutions that Aren’t Losing Weight

and (stay with me people)

  1. 9 Very Good Reasons to Let Go of That Grudge

I found No. 2 article embedded as the 28th resolution in the 50 list. And it struck me. Particularly the phrase: “Forgive someone: Life’s too short to not move on.”

As we take time during the holiday season to look back on the wretchedness that was 2017 we might feel as we crossed through a sandstorm, dust settled. We made it through and are all the wiser. Unfortunately this doesn’t come without pain…unless you’re a masochist who likes getting sand in your eyes.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. “You’re going to have to forgive her,” we hear. If you’ve lived life long enough—or catalyzed this notion of forgiveness by going to therapy—we know this is the ultimate resolve waiting for us. But how to get there? This takes time.

Forgiveness is actually really cool. It takes the burden or pain we were feeling about being wronged, places it on a shelf, and refocuses our attention back on reaffirming and bolstering our self-worth. Once we come to this realization, we engage in a friendship with forgiveness because the experience of being wronged taught us a lesson. We love ourselves more for having “gone through it.”

Forgiveness is also this amazing bi-conditional—or works both ways—phenomenon. Not only do you get to table your grief, but you also learn how to forgive yourself in the process for having experienced it, or allowing “it” to happen to you. Distance from the phenomenon—like being cheated on, for example—and time, gives you the notion it never had anything to do with you in the first place.

Shame is a devilish monster. When we are wronged, and sitting isolated in retrospect, we often tend to only have this conversation with ourselves on repeat:

⇒ “Why/how did you let that happen to yourself?”

I have nothing else to say other than this is nonsense. You can’t piece together the clues until after the event occurred. We must approach these types of situations with peace, and afford ourselves the grace and unconditional love necessary to live a life that’s healthy and empowered on our own terms.

Life is too short not to take matters into your own hands. Write your own narrative.

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